Saint Cyprian of Antioch: Patron Saint of Occultists
How Did He Become a Saint?
Like all great stories of redemption Cyprian's starts with an attempted rape using demon minions.
As a pagan sorcerer who dealt with the devil, Cyprian wasn't great with the ladies and when he fell in love with a Christian woman named Justina he thought it best to use the black arts. Justina, who warded off dozens of hell spawned sexual assaults in her time, made the sign of the cross and repelled the evil spirits. Cyprian was freed from his own dark spells and became a priest and bishop, while his nonsexual friendship with Justina grew.
Then, you guessed it, both were ordered to be tortured and beheaded by Emperor Diocletian, the same guy who executed the patron saint of comedians up there. That dude was a Saint making machine.
So Why Occultists?
Well, other than the fact that he was basically Lord freaking Voldemort before his conversion, Cyprian also wrote a book of powerful spells. Spells that are as powerful as praying or invoking Saints. The book spread, being published in several languages and making Cyprian the patron saint of witches, sorcerers, and spiritual workers, good and evil, but more commonly ineffective and annoying.
Possible Prayers:
"As wiccan high priestess I invoke the name of Saint Cyprian to guide my level 3 charm spell on Zac Efron!"
"Cyprian, keep my magic dark, my powers strong and don't allow the jocks to throw piss balloons at me while I cry in the cemetery."